Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
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