Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Dude I just picked up a married chick while her husband was playing pool.
What do you mean you picked her up? How are you gonna leave the bar?
I didn't. I fucked her in the men's room. Come get me before he finds out.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
