i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I will be naked everywhere
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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