I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Randomize
