their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
