I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
