Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
