I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
