I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
