in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
