You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
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