And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
