I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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