i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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