I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
