so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
NoShamevember. You game?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
