That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
