You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
is it fun? or sober?
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
