Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
