I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
