well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
