girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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