Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
