Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
