Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
