So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
i used baking grease as lip gloss
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
