just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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