super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
