Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
