"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Green mimosas i think yes
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
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