you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Randomize
