saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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