ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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