if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
