my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
