Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
