it wasn't lemon gatorade
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
