I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Randomize
