i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
