woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
