he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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