they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Fuck appropriateness.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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