I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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