What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Randomize
