i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize
