we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Drake has all the answers
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
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