oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
