well you can't waste a boner
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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