Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
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