You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
Randomize
