omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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