Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Randomize
