I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
Randomize
