we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
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